Wow, I hadn't realize I hadn't written since August of last year! A lot has happened, some things good, and some things not so good. But I'll try my best to stick with the good :).
It was pretty hard initially. Jude looks so much like Alice in so many ways and as much as it hurt, it made me also feel like part of her was there with me. I had a few panic attacks at night, waking up, shaking Chris and telling him to make sure the baby was still breathing because I didn't hear anything. Chris had to watch Jude the first couple months of life, because every time I tried, I had such panic and I'd just sit in bed, stare at him while he slept in his pack n' play, and I'd cry. Things have gotten a lot better and I watch him every night now. I love how he wakes up and smiles at me.
He's made our lives a whole lot brighter. His smile and laugh turns my gray world into a world full of color. Sometimes, now that he throws fit, I have to giggle because he's cute regardless of his tantrum or not. At least he's here, breathing, and there for me to love and snuggle.
We are packing up and moving (again). This time we'll be moving back to our hometown for a few years so Jude can be around his Lola and Grumpa. It's a wonderful opportunity! Then, when we have the means to buy our first house, we'll probably be moving a few hours away again. That will be a few years from now, though. In the meantime, I just want to enjoy time with Jude and my family.